Divorce can be scary

Going through a divorce is probably one of the most gut-wrenching experiences a person can go through. One of the hardest realizations that divorcing people have is accepting that the person they once shared their hopes and dreams with has now become an adversary. The manner in which both parties confront their differences greatly impacts the intensity of their adjustment and the difficulties they will face going forward. This article has been designed to highlight important steps you can take to make a significant difference in your adjustment to your divorce.

1. Grieve and vent as much as you need to, but then take the time to learn from what you have been through. The divorce involves two people, so it is important to honestly appraise your role in the break-up; rather than solely and narrow-mindedly blaming your spouse. The more you explore the reasons and issues that compromised your marriage, the more you will learn about yourself. The insights that you gain should pay huge dividends as you go forward in your life.
2. Reach out to trusted friends and loved ones. These are the ones who will sustain you through this tough time. However, make sure to treat these relationships with care. These people are not obligated to be there for you. They want to be there for you. Show your appreciation by paying close attention to their needs as well, and do not take advantage.Your loved ones will readily show their support if you are considerate of their feelings and schedules. Make sure to ask regularly about what’s going on with them! While no one expects you to put on a “happy face” during this time, be careful of being so negative that your loved ones dread your call.
3. Focus on your children’s needs as much as your own. They did not ask to have their lives turned upside down. Be sensitive to the impact that the divorce will have on their lives. Even though you are in tremendous pain, do your best to maintain the continuity and structure of your children’s routines. We understand that you will need to vent and cry. Try to do your grieving when the kids are not with you, so that you can be as emotionally available to them as you can.